I bought an umbrella for a homeless person.

Listening to: Josie's crazy white person music.


It was raining when I arrived in San Francisco this morning. I used to have a nice umbrella but had left it on the train a few Wednesdays ago. I knew I would have to get an umbrella and today was the day I made my purchase. There's a Walgreens right by the station so that was naturally my stop.

Being raised in the way of Penny Pinching, I purchased the umbrella that would provide me the biggest bang for my buck: a "jumbo" umbrella for $9.99. After the transaction, I left Walgreens, tore off the wrapper and proceeded to fight against the elements. To my dismay, the umbrella I purchased really was jumbo. It was ridiculously large. This thing could easily canopy the state of Wyoming. I felt like the biggest douche in the world. I could imagine people looking at me and thinking, "Why's this guy need a six foot wide umbrella?"

I made my way to the Walgreens across from my office building and purchased a smaller umbrella. I decided to give the giant umbrella to the homeless person standing outside of the Walgreens. I basically said to him, "Would you like an umbrella, sir? It's going to rain." He mumbled something incoherent.

I felt like I did a good deed. If anyone was going to look like a douche bag, it was going to be that homeless guy. And all is now right with the world.